Your dad touched me again.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
