my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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