She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Two words: blizzard sex
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
