i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
