Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
