i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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