filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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