so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
