You just made me feel so damn special
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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