I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just high enough for therapy.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
