What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
