she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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