If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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