I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
