How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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