I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
