I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
