Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
