is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
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She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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