just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
