Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
