There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
