Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize