whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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