In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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