So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
