ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
