420 ftw
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
