My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
