I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
