we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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