I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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