I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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