Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
