But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
