i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
