p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
