No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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