There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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