remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize