just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
