i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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