she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
