Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
