she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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