No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
