I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize