YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
