last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
How external is "for external use only"?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
