did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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