I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
