if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
this will be a night to untag.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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