I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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