How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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