i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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