So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
