He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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