why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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