Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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