I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
