Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
