Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
