found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
