you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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