Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
