she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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