I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
